Morshu vs Zacharie

"I have never worked a day in my life without selling. If I believe in something, I sell it, and I sell it hard." - Estée Lauder

Morshu: Zelda CDI's best salesman for 3 items.

Zacharie: OFF's generic video game merchant.

What good video game doesn't have the ability to let you spend all your money to help capitalism and buy an item or costume? Hell, it was so good they added it to real life, heck, I did a mission and sold all my organs for five bucks, I'll be buying such a cool hat. But you need someone to buy FROM, and why not have them be wacky and goofy. These two sure fit that bill giving the hero great items items so good only a hero would buy them. So with death on the shopping list, which video game merchant will come out on top and win in a DEATHBATTLE!...blog

Before We Begin...

These characters don't have much so we're giving them fucking everything, random background items in Morshu's shop? Sure! Official art Mortis drew? Why not! And uhh, the games too I guess. They'll both have access to their entire item inventory.

Background 

Morshu 

Morshu, sometimes called the merchant, has a shop that is set in Goronu, and appears in the tutorial. He's kind enough to give Link the items he requires, albeit for a price, informing Link of the knowledge that he does not give credit, and if Link does not have enough rubies, he shall simply have to come back when he's quote "a little mmmm... richer!" Eventually, Link did obtain enough rubies, and he did become mmmm... richer! And with those lamp oil, rope, and bombs that Morshu kindly granted him, he could defeat Ganon and save Hyrule, all thanks to Morshu.

Zacharie 

Zacharie: OFF's one and only merchant. He's implied to have slain a toad king awhile ago, but besides that, he's just a pleasant masked salesman. He's friends with the Juddge and Sugar.  Both being eventually killed by the Batter in his quest to purify everything, yet Zacharie still simply sold Batter items for his journey even, replacing Judge when the Judge got sad from his brother dying to give Batter many cryptic hints, and when it was all said and done, and all of existence had been turned off, Batter never could've done it with all of Zacharie's amazing deals.

Experience/Skill 

Morshu 

Morshu is probably the smartest character we've seen so far. He can tell Link doesn't have enough rubies just in a few seconds. He could also sell a plethora of items with ease. Infact, out of every item in his shop, he only sold link the items he ended up needing for his journey. Coincidence or advanced planning? I'll let you decide...

Zacharie 

Despite his demeanor, Zacharie knows more than he lets on. Having knowledge on the fourth wall, as well as being implied to have killed the Toad King in the past, it's no wonder he has accumulated such a collection of items.

Equipment 

Morshu 

Lamp Oil

About as complex as the name suggests, this lamp oil can be used in order fuel a lamp. We don't actually know if Morshu has a lamp.

Rope

It's a rope, it can be used to reach high up places, or it can be used for strangulation, but that function was omitted from the games.

Bombs

Used for explosions, they generally have a somewhat wide range of effect, and the potency will be discussed later.

Swords

Morshu has a surprising amount of swords in the back of his shop.

Crossbow

A crossbow can be found in Morshu's shop, although we don't actually see arrows for it.

Boomerangs

He has what appears to be boomerangs lying around, or just...really old bananas, with the CDI games neither is impossible.

Shield 

Morshu has a couple shields in his shop for defensive purposes.

Helmet 

Where's the rest of the armor? Does it even fit Morshu? Who knows.

Flail 

A weapon placed in the back of the shop, it looks like a ball and chain attached to a stick, so it probably is one.

Axe

Hey let me AXE you a question! Where were you in Germany in 1939 through 1945?

Spear

It's a spear, what do you think it does?

Pot

An iconic Zelda item, but unlike the rest, this one is safe from Link's pot breaking rampages.

Zacharie 

Sword

As seen in multiple artworks and in the Toad King story, Zacharie has a sword, which is pretty sick.

Motorcycle 

Assumedly to help Zacharie get all his items from point A to B, this seems to be a pretty basic motorcycle.

Bats

Being the main weapon of the Batter, it's obviously a high seller in Zacharie's shop, being extremely powerful, and letting Batter preform his feats.

Other Items

Zacharie has a lot of...weird stuff. Such as the days of the weeks, including a secret day that blocks basically all negative effects, like blindness, poison, and muted. Tunics, auras, and colors to increase defense and add evasion. He has tickets to heal, and the joker to revive. He also has items that deal damage themselves, and the Eye which analyzes the enemy, and provides knowledge.

Amusement Park 

I don't care if it's not portable, we're mentioning this anyways. Zacharie owns a goddamn theme park, fit with many attractions.

Abilities 

Morshu

Uhhhh...

Zacharie 

Wings

For some reason, Zacharie has wings in a noticeable chunk of artwork, even being able to fly, seemingly.

Fourth Wall Awareness 

Zacharie is well aware of his existence and role of the video game merchant, even being able to see the game files and know game specific, events such as him winning a race.

Feats

Morshu

Strength 

• Is a pretty hefty man in general
• Axes can do great damage to a human skull
• His bombs can destroy boulders (2.4 Kilograms-66.1 Kilograms of TNT)
• The kinetic energy of his walking speed (67.4 Joules)

Speed

• Can move his hand across the distance of his arm in 0.3 seconds (2.95 mph)
• Did the same in 0.2 seconds (4.31 mph)
• Could move his arm to the end of his body in 0.9 seconds (1.96 mph)
• Can walk at below average speeds (1.02 m/s)

Durability 

• Comparable to his physical attack potency 
• Has shields for extra defense

Zacharie 

Strength 

• Potentially killed a toad king 
• Even the weakest of Zacharie's bats can kill Burnts, which have stopped subway cars (0.34 Tons of TNT)
• Zacharie's strongest bats are powerful enough to take down Zone Guardians, who created their zones, which are seemingly endless in size (Universal+)
• Batter with his bats fought the Queen, sustains an area with a sun, and gave the energy to make the Zones 
• Kinetic energy energy of his walking (1,455-5,820 Joules)

Speed

• Can travel across the Zones quickly 
• Has a motorcycle, many of which can get to 100 mph
• Moved around in the Nothingness, where everything moves at the speed of light 
• His overworld walking speed (6.14-12.2 m/s)
• Raced Batter and is implied to be even, even if he won due to game events, with Batter being able to:
• Climb up a chimney fast (Mach 0.54-2.22)
• Travel to the sun (361c)
• Fight Zone Guardians, who made the Zones, which are potentially infinite, in finite time 

Durability 

• Logically scales to his attack potency 
• Has items which can defend Batter in battle

Weaknesses 

Morshu 

Too based.

Zacharie 

Too goated.

Verdicts 

Stats

Okay, both are extremely powerful, but to what degree? Starting with speed, from walking, Morshu got to Below Average Human level, with feats backing up this placement, such as moving his hands. Unfortunately, Zacharie gets even higher, placing around Average Human, and potentially getting into the Athlete level ranges from walking, putting Zacharie solidly above Morshu. Zacharie can also be scaled to Batter but who cares. Now for strength, Morshu does get to amazingly, Human level, due to walking, a spectacular feat although again, Zacharie has him beat getting to Street tier via walking, and although Morshu's bombs do surpass him, it's likely Zacharie's nearly Athlete level speed would allow him to outmaneuver the danger, and defeat Morshu in stats. You can also scale Zacharie to Batter but that is unimportant.

Equipment/Abilities 

This is an interesting match, with both having swords, although Morshu's collection is larger. Morshu does have a greater number of unique weapons, from axes to crossbows along with his iconic bombs. But despite this, Zacharie does have the high ground due to his wings, and with Eye or looking into the code he will know all of Morshu's tricks. Zacharie's motorcycle will also give him great advantage in speed and movement. Zacharie's healing items and revives does mean he could take a few hits of Morshu's powerful weapons and not be put of the game yet. While Morshu could potentially hit him out of the sky with a crossbow, a wide majority of his weapons are unable to hit, which is even more of a detriment taking into account the fact Morshu might not actually have crossbow bolts.

Tertiary Factors 

Both are obviously the smartest characters we've had on the blog, so really it'd be a toss up on who's smarter, but Zacharie has a key advantage, as due to the eye and fourth wall awarness, he'd be given a leg up in intelligence. He also seems to have more combat experience, as we don't really know Morshu's backstory at all.

Conclusion 

Morshu 

Advantages:

• More weapons 
• Weapons surpass Zacharie's walking feat
• Doesn't give credit 

Disadvantages:

• Slower
• Weaker
• Gets killed instantly with a drop of Batter scaling 

Zacharie 

Advantages:

• Faster
• Stronger 
• Heals/revives 
• More knowledgeable
• Batter scaling
• Owns a goddamn amusement park 

Disadvantages:

• Morshu won't give him any credits
• Crossbow counters his flying 

Well that's that. Both were extremely strong, and had some of the most impressive feats we've ever seen, and possibly ever will, but one merchant had to live, and one simply was stronger, faster, and perhaps a little mmmm... richer, and ultimately took the victory. Well it's probably better that way, the winn- hey, who let this masked guy in the writing area? Hey wait- Le lauréat est...

Zacharie!